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Dr. Cherrye,
Financial Elder Abuse is personal to me. While I would like to remain anonymous, I saw your Instagram page concerning elder abuse. I just recently sold my home and moved in with my father who really needs assistance. I have siblings who are doing outrageous things to me and are abusing our dad financially. Are you an expert in this area? If so, may I contact you for advice?
Dear May I contact you for advice?
No, I am not an expert in Financial Elder Abuse, but I have done my research because I happened upon this topic from another person’s page and it ‘sparked’ my interest. I had not realized how sadly prominent this topic is. Whew! I was astonished at the many ways the perpetrator easily takes advantage of the helpless elder. I am appalled at how anyone could do such things to anyone, much less an elder. From what I am learning, I can only offer you and my audience advice from my recent readings. And, please note: I consider Elder Abuse (of any type) a form of BULLYING!
Please see the list below of five (5) types of elder abuse, and then do your personal research.
Five (5) Forms of Elder Abuse
*Neglect
*Physical
*Emotional
*Sexual
*Financial
Each of my upcoming blog posts will focus on one form of elder abuse, but I will begin with FINANCIAL ABUSE since it is the one that is the most difficult to detect (silent, sneaky abuse), but just as criminally wrong. The perpetrator does not ‘figure’ on someone uncovering their illegal activities.
Before we dive into this form of abuse, let me define what Financial Elder Abuse means so that everyone is clear (at least from my understanding).
WHAT IS FINANCIAL ELDER ABUSE?
Financial Elder Abuse is the perpetrator’s purposeful intention to misappropriate an elder’s financial resources for the sole purpose of advancing him/herself. The perpetrator criminally abuses and takes control of the elder’s assets (in a clever sneaky way and many times without the elder and/or other family members knowledge). The caregiver manipulates the relationship which is supposed to be trusting, but their actions causes the elder financial harm.
Elder ‘exploitation’ is both illegal and fraudulent (especially when the perpetrator has fooled, manipulated, coerced and intimidated the elder into signing documents, gaining access to their credit cards, bank accounts, and compromising the elder’s credit score), plus more.
You might ask, “Why is Financial Elder Abuse more difficult to detect?” Well, after my own personal research, I will tell you why I feel this way:
THE GUARDIAN/CAREGIVER GETS CLEVER
WARM FUZZY
The guardian or caregiver is cunning (very slick), so they warm up to the elder. They are in his/her ear during hours when no one else is around. They play on the conscience and sympathy of the elder, in most cases, making them feel sorry for them.
PERSONAL INFORMATION
Depending on your appointed caregiver, and for whatever your cause, some caregivers may have access to the elder’s personal information such as social security number, birthdate, driver license, and medical records (insurance cards). Be careful with what you allow your caregiver to have access.
EXPLOITATION
This is when the caretaker obtains illegal use of the elder’s resources for their own monetary gain, or personal benefit. The perpetrator profits from the elder’s resources (money, credit card, bank account and good credit score). Watch for forgery (according to my research this is very prevalent).
Credit Card Abuse
Be careful with this one, too. Some people allow their caregiver(s) to take their elder shopping and trusts them wholly with the elder’s credit card(s). You must trust your caregiver immensely to hand these over to them. The next thing you know, the elder’s credit has been used or maxed out. The perpetrator has no intention on paying back, or you, other family members discovering what they have done. This ACT is ILLEGAL.
Last WILL and Testament
Most responsible elders already have their WILL and Testament secured, dated, and notarized years before they age and/or become disabled, incapacitated, Alzheimer’s sets in, or incurring memory Loss (both short and long term). If other family members realize this (has been told by their elder years in advance) that they have a WILL, and suddenly a new WILL ‘pops up’ by someone (after your elder’s demise) there is reason to believe the elder was coerced into performing such an action, especially if no one knows. When this happens, it can be ‘hammered-out’ in the court of law. This is criminally illegal, and the perpetrator can face jail time.
The judge will listen. You will win!!
WHAT YOU CAN DO!
Always *Document *Document *Document
Know when it is time to call Adult Protective Services (APS)
Note: Your elder is more than likely fond of the perpetrator, so your elder may be in denial. With all your evidence, the courts will realize your good intent to safeguard the rights of your elder. Protect your elder at all costs!
Stay Tuned for upcoming Blogs on other Forms of Elder Abuse
NEGLECT
Check on your elder. The older and less mobile they are, they fade away visibly (from church, favorite clubs/hobbies, community meetings), and the perpetrator has his/her way. Are their needs being met (food, medication, exercise, outings, hygiene?)
PHYSICAL Elder Abuse
This form of abuse is easier to detect – (visible scars). We will get into this more.
EMOTIONAL Elder Abuse (
Mentally shaken, rattled or confused, emotional pain, put-downs, verbal abuse, yelling by way of intimidation.
SEXUAL Elder Abuse
Be careful. Monitor your elder often, and at different hours of the day, especially if your elder resides in a nursing or other skilled nursing facility for the aged.
Before I close, I would like to recommend two readings (click on each title)
“Elder Abuse: How to Identify It How to Stop It” and “The Wolf at the Door: Undue Influence and Elder Financial Abuse“
YOUR THOUGHTS?
What experiences have you had on this topic? Please share with this audience.
OPEN FOR COMMENTS
IMPORTANT
I have made it my mission to assist parents and educators in resolving the bullying issues children suffer. Offering your feedback and suggestions in the comment section could facilitate meaningful dialogue on this critical issue among ourselves and I encourage this. I will respond to each comment in a timely way. Should you wish to speak privately with me, please email me at cherryeVasquez@gmail.com and I will reply promptly.
Please take advantage of my 3 Free resources by downloading them today. One of them includes my FREE Bullying Checklist. If you feel that your child has been bullied, please use the checklist to determine if your ‘gut feelings’ are accurate.
We hear of elder abuse but may never witness it up close but if we do, we have the clear responsibility to take appropriate action to protect the victim.
Elder abuse may very well be the gravest form of human cruelty, along the same lines as child cruelty because the victim is generally unable to defend him/herself, especially if unwell. Indeed, their very daily care such as being fed, medicated and more are dependent upon trusting and when that trust is absent, then the victim is truly at the mercy of the abuser and submits without complaint out of fear. When our elder, be it a parent or any other person you care about, spends a good deal of time alone with such caregiver, it is difficult to detect what may be going on behind the scenes. Whenever possible, I urge family members to monitor the quality of care afforded to their own family elders, keeping in mind that there are likely signs that something is not right and refusal to speak about it might raise the alarm bells that we need to pay attention to. Always reassure your elderly loved ones that you are there 24/7 if they ever need help or just to talk and confide if necessary. In severe cases, the victim may fear reprisal if they do confide but it is easy to sense when something isn’t as it seems. Be alert to signs of withdrawal and reluctance to talk and if suspected, marshall other family members, intervene and investigate.
You speak of financial elder abuse. We all want our elders to be given quality and loving care but regrettably, that is not always the case. To use the elder’s financial resources for our own pleasures and pursuits is fraud, plain and simple and may even involve forgery. All too often, the perpetrator has the confidence of the victim but there are usually ‘tells’ that lead to suspicion to anyone who cares or is paying attention. When a person takes advantage of an elder for their own personal gain, it may be entirely reasonable to suspect other kinds of abuse because clearly, the abuser has no qualms or conscience about hurting/exploiting their victims for their own personal gain.
Most importantly, never leave your loved ones totally in the care of someone without monitoring and asking for updates. If possible, arrange for joint financial care for that dependent, meaning that two or more must sign off on ALL expenditures over and above daily household bills and sustenance.
No doubt, most family caregivers are loving and attentive but it is those exceptions that we must be alert for and make changes to when necessary. Every elder has the right to trust and be assured that they are not being taken advantage of and if all family members of the elder are involved and alert, appropriate intervention can and must take place.
Bottom line, our elders deserve the reasurrance that they are in trusting care and nothing less than that will do.
Thank you for stopping by and adding your valuable comments to this sad, but important topic. I cannot believe the amount of information I was able to research and read. Now I want to share with as many people who will read, learn, and share.
The woman with the blog inquisition asked me if I were an expert on this topic, and of course, I am not, but I have newfound interest in this topic, so I want to share everywhere helping others, especially families dealing with such horrible acts. When I think of helpless elders who may be experiencing this type of abuse, I am also reminded of a saying I heard one elder utter. He said, “Seniors are adults once and children twice.” Well, I beg to differ with that statement. Elders are adults who need lots of love, support, and attention. Elders should be doted over. I want to see them smiling and laughing often.
Elders deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. They are indeed adults who have merely aged. They may move slower and may not be the quick thinkers they once were, but they are still adults. They have lives to live and remarkable stories left within them to tell.
Those who take advantage of the weak whether children or elders should be stopped! These people do not have a heart. Yes! We must take action in the best interest of our elders.
Sincerely,
Dr. Cherrye
We hear of elder abuse but may never witness it up close but if we do, we have the clear responsibility to take appropriate action to protect the victim.
Elder abuse may very well be the gravest form of human cruelty, along the same lines as child cruelty because the victim is generally unable to defend him/herself, especially if unwell. Indeed, their very daily care such as being fed, medicated and more are dependent upon trusting and when that trust is absent, then the victim is truly at the mercy of the abuser and submits without complaint out of fear. When our elder, be it a parent or any other person you care about, spends a good deal of time alone with such caregiver, it is difficult to detect what may be going on behind the scenes. Whenever possible, I urge family members to monitor the quality of care afforded to their own family elders, keeping in mind that there are likely signs that something is not right and refusal to speak about it might raise the alarm bells that we need to pay attention to. Always reassure your elderly loved ones that you are there 24/7 if they ever need help or just to talk and confide if necessary. In severe cases, the victim may fear reprisal if they do confide but it is easy to sense when something isn’t as it seems. Be alert to signs of withdrawal and reluctance to talk and if suspected, marshall other family members, intervene and investigate.
You speak of financial elder abuse. We all want our elders to be given quality and loving care but regrettably, that is not always the case. To use the elder’s financial resources for our own pleasures and pursuits is fraud, plain and simple and may even involve forgery. All too often, the perpetrator has the confidence of the victim but there are usually ‘tells’ that lead to suspicion to anyone who cares or is paying attention. When a person takes advantage of an elder for their own personal gain, it may be entirely reasonable to suspect other kinds of abuse because clearly, the abuser has no qualms or conscience about hurting/exploiting their victims for their own personal gain.
Most importantly, never leave your loved ones totally in the care of someone without monitoring and asking for updates. If possible, arrange for joint financial care for that dependent, meaning that two or more must sign off on ALL expenditures over and above daily household bills and sustenance.
No doubt, most family caregivers are loving and attentive but it is those exceptions that we must be alert for and make changes to when necessary. Every elder has the right to trust and be assured that they are not being taken advantage of and if all family members of the elder are involved and alert, appropriate intervention can and must take place.
Bottom line, our elders deserve the reasurrance that they are in trusting care and nothing less than that will do.