Dear Dr. Cherrye,
At the hands of mean undisciplined classmates, my children suffered a lot! I continue to be concerned about bullying. Where are we today? In your expert opinion, have we made progress in our schools and communities? I am a very angry mama!
Dear I am a very angry mama,
Let us look at current statistics. This will give you an idea of where we are today with bullying in our schools and communities. I will then share ideas of the ‘what next’ that may follow as your next inquiry because Dr. Cherrye wants to support you, your children, and our familial communities everywhere.
Current Statistics
According to Pacer’s National Prevention Bullying Center (2023) while in the school setting, 41% of students still report being bullied, and they believe that the bullying will happen again. Thirteen percent students were made fun of, called names, or insulted. Five percent were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spat on; and 5% were excluded from activities on purpose.
Only one out of five students report bullying. Male students report more physical bullying than female students, but a higher percentage of female students’ report being subjects of rumors (Pacer’s National Prevention Bullying Center, 2023). All be reported, I would say we still have lots of work to do in this area.
As an antibullying advocate, I want to propose a nationwide Bully Upstander Campaign: I believe an initiative such as this sort of movement will resolve many of these inappropriate behaviors. Too, poingnantly addressing inclusive settings and activities that students can purposely initiate involving peers who are left out is another great idea. I believe if we could empower more students to stand up and speak up without fear, this will help these percentages decrease further.
Bully Upstander
A Bully Upstander (please see a past blog I’ve written on this topic/strategy) can become a movement in school settings allowing students to coalesce together joining forces to wipe-out bullying. In fact, when this happens the bully may begin to feel like an uncomfortable outcast to the point of snapping out of his/her menace, nuisance, and inappropriate behaviors.
To initiate a Bully Upstander movement, the entire school staff (including custodians and cafeteria workers) must be on board. It will be a ‘all hands on deck’ movement. All eyes and ears must be open, and it must be understand as training is formulated, and executed.
To Get Started with a Bully Upstander Movement
*Promote neighborhood meetings (civic club) with topics centered on bullying
*Everyone needs to get on board (schools, neighbors, business leaders, churches, parents/grandparents)
*Nastiness of any kind (rumors, spreading gossip, purposely outcasting) should be stopped on contact
*Find activities and promote children making friends beyond their cliques
*Promote helping peers who are being bullied. Speak up and out. Tell a trusted adult
*Everyone should know and be aware of current bully policies at the state and school levels
*Know what to do in the event you see bullying going on right before your eyes (parents, teachers and students)
*Continue to research effective ideas
Where to Spot Bullying
Only 46% of students report bullying (Pacer’s National Prevention Bullying Center, 2023). It is important for teachers, staff, and educators in general to spot and remain cognizant of areas in our school settings where bullying is prevalent. Bullies are smart and they know where to gang-up on their targets.
In my experiences, these areas may include under stairwells, in restrooms, in hallways (especially crowded), and whenever/wherever the bully feels no one is looking. Administrators would be wise to assign teacher duties to these targeted spots at all times, and especially during class changes and movement around the school building.
School/Family Support
Educators and Parents alike should always support the needs of its students. To do this, there must be established rapport and respectful lines of communication. When this happens, there will be a win-win for all involved.
Parents expect their children to attend safe schools free of bullying and meanness, I realize many teachers and staff may not know what to do, or how far they can intervene without feeling threatened. With these thoughts in mind, I have written bully resources to assist both entities.
‘A Bully Blueprint Solutions for Kids’ guides the reader and learner with step-by-step solutions to help wipe-out oppressive behaviors. One will find strategies assisting how to map-out and eliminate bullying all together.
‘A Bullycide Blueprint Solutions for Kids’ assists the reader with ways to identify students who are repeatedly harassed feeling downtrodden and on the verge of hurting themselves. Extensive bullying drains a child’s emotions and sometimes into depression. Each child varies in their coping abilities and fight to plunge forward overcoming bullying. This book guides the adult in how to tenderly work through crisis while guiding the bully-ee back to safe paths. It also gives suggestions on how to seek professional help.
‘The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm’ is a handy tool to assist parents in the preparation of heart-to-heart meaningful meetings with the school leader, the principal. By the time parents get to this point, it is my recommendation that they have gone through the chain of commands eliminating any doubt they have not tried to work through issues with teachers and other school staff. You can download this ebook, my bully checklist, and more for free just by following my website (link in blog posts).
I’ve also written previous blog posts outlining important issues. Please revert back to “Your Child is Being Bullied: Here is What You Can Do’ rereading the imporant points I have addressed in the past. Much of what I have written will be very helpful to you throughout the school year as you fight this ongoing bully-battle.
What Next?
Remain vigilant. I want to recommend administrators specifically address bullying at the beginning of the school year. There can be periodic thematic lessons throughout the year where teachers can involve students in classroom and school-wide rules. These rules can be revisited and tweaked as needed.
School counselors should also get involved creating ongoing curricula addressing these issues. Teachers should have and create lessons about kindness, sharing, and getting along. Involving the students in lesson creations and relevant discussion always helps. This work should begin the first day of school.
OPEN FOR COMMENTS
IMPORTANT
I have made it my mission to assist parents and educators in resolving the bullying issues children suffer. Offering your feedback and suggestions in the comment section could facilitate meaningful dialogue on this critical issue among ourselves and I encourage this. I will respond to each comment in a timely way. Should you wish to speak privately with me, please email me at cherryeVasquez@gmail.com and I will reply promptly.
Please take advantage of my 3 Free resources by downloading them today. One of them includes my FREE Bullying Checklist. If you feel that your child has been bullied, please use the checklist to determine if your ‘gut feelings’ are accurate.
