Tips to Combat Bullying Behaviors - drcherryesbooksthatsow.com

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Dear Dr. Cherrye,

I have read your previous blog post concerning the 5 W’s and H strategy and how to dissect the antecedents focused on learning more about the child bully and what drives them to such behavioral acts, but I would love your expert advice on giving parents and educators tips to combat bullying behaviors, please. I’d love to share your ideas with others in need. Please help.

~ Please help ~

Dear Please help,

Sure. Dr. Vasquez will get down to the ‘nitty-gritty’ giving parents and educators specific tips to combat bullying behaviors. I will begin with parents.

Tips for Parents

Help your children tune into their emotions from an incredibly early age. This will mold them from the cradle upward.
From their early, moldable years, teach your children to love and appreciate self-first. See my Affirmation Daybook Journal for ideas.
Model a sense of caring, sharing and politeness. This will instill a sense of remorsefulness with your children.
Be careful not to make fun or judge people and your children will not make fun of or judge people (sexual orientation, physical appearance, socio-economic status).
Teach children how to hold a door, or give up a chair for an elder, or a lady with a small child. Teach them to greet people by saying “Good Morning”, or whenever entering a room with people.
Have your children write thank you cards after someone has given them a gift. This helps them learn how to be appreciative.
Teach children to take responsibility for their actions and their personal belongings.
Teach children that it is okay to become competitive without being a sore loser, or a bully.
Model and help children express their emotions of joy, anger, sadness, and happiness. They will become considerate of how words and behaviors could hurt others.
Teach children how to say, “I am sorry” if they offend or hurt others – and mean it! This act teaches remorsefulness. If your children have behavioral challenges, read this book with them and have meaningful discussion.
Be careful not to bully your own child – This is a no brainer. Right? Your actions and reactions are important. Your children are watching and patterning your behaviors.
- No putdowns
- No purposeful ignoring
- No intimidating
Take time away from your own duties to spend quality time with your children. Show them how important they are to you.
If your children need to talk to you – TALK
Ask your children about their day at school. They will soon begin to ask you how your day went.
Ask your children if there is anything you need to know. If they tell you something unpleasant, talk them through it.
Be certain you remain active in your children’s school life – PTO, Open House, Room Mother/Dad (assigned to help teacher out with parties and the like), School Games, FFA, and the like.
Check in with your child’s classroom teacher periodically to see how things are going (academically and behaviorally).

Note: Some tips above are self-actions that build self-esteem so that if your children are bullied, they feel empowered

Tips for Educators

Establish rapport with the bully. What do you know about him/her?
Offer the parents of the bully aid in social services (medical, food, clothing, utilities). When the child’s primary needs are met, he/she feels much better.
Get into the trenches (this is where your children are).
There needs to be consistent supervision – in hallways, under stairwells, in low populated areas, and places in which bullies can easily hide and disguise their actions.
Have the bully use “I” statements when acknowledging his/her inappropriate behaviors with others. This will develop ownership of behaviors.
Whenever the bully does something good, praise him/her.
Do you know the bully’s talents? If not, ask him/her. Use the bully’s talents to develop personal strengths.
Use self-fulfilling prophecy techniques. Tell the bully positive things about him/herself. Watch them blossom into that person.
Teach the bully positive leadership skills when he/she is ready. For examples: If you think the bully likes teaching, refer to him/her as a teacher. If the bully likes walking a peer to the nurse, refer to him/her as a nurse or doctor. If the bully likes to fix toys and/or similar, refer to the bully as a mechanic or something in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM)
Chart each time the bully genuinely says or does something nice to someone (rewards need to move from extrinsic to intrinsic). Share your results with the bully.
Bully shield/proof the school. Get the entire staff involved.
Implement school-wide rules and sanctions. Get staff on board.
Foster a climate of respect one to another. Your students are watching.
Encourage staff to talk to children about differences and acceptance of differences using dialogue and friendly discourse. Have you seen my Diversity Daybook Journal? Get copies for each student and use this journal during writing or social skills lessons. It works!
Teach and model acceptance and genuine respect and appreciation of others.
Teach and model a sense of pride for challenging work, dress code, and manners.
Build and enforce a climate that is intolerant of bullying behaviors
Implement culturally responsive pedagogy. Take a look at how Understood for All (2014-2022) explains and defines culturally responsive pedagogy.
Choose text that will depict all heritages/cultures and ethnicities within the curricula.
Establish rapport with the bully.

Note: Although it saddens Dr. Cherrye to write this list, giving parents and educators specific tips to Combat Bullying Behaviors is my mission.

OPEN FOR COMMENTS

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below.

IMPORTANT

I’ve made it my mission to assist parents and educators in resolving the bullying issues children suffer. Offering your feedback and suggestions in the comment section could facilitate meaningful dialogue on this critical issue among ourselves and I encourage this. I will respond to each comment in a timely way. Should you wish to speak privately with me, please email me at cherryeVasquez@gmail.com and I will reply promptly.

Please take advantage of my 3 Free resources by downloading them today. One of them includes my FREE Bullying Checklist. If you feel that your child has been bullied, please use the checklist to determine if your ‘gut feelings’ are accurate.